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1. TACO BELL

On August 3rd, 2012, fast food giant Taco Bell shocked its 900,000 Twitter followers by tweeting just the word “Hello,” instead of their usual stern commands to eat their food.

Shortly afterward, this tweet appeared:

And an hour later:

At this point taco fans realized that, due to a technical glitch, Taco Bell’s account had accidentally gained human consciousness.

2. PRINGLES

In late March of 2013, a similar bout of emotional cognizance struck the verified Twitter account @Pringles.

Unequipped to deal with the mental turmoil of sentient thought, @Pringles attempted to commit suicide by repeatedly posting the gun emoji in a series of tweets.

Many months of intensive counseling later, @Pringles has been taught to suppress those feelings and is back to retweeting photos of people feeding potato chips to their confused dogs.

3. TGI FRIDAY’S

We all remember the strangely specific case of @TGIFridays, when the family-style restaurant chain’s Twitter account took on the persona of a lactose-intolerant 29-year-old man named Eric.

It started with this exchange:

Things got a little heated later that afternoon:

Adding to the Eric-like behavior, @TGIFridays repeatedly pestered some guy named Tyler to hang out and “throw that frisbee around.”

4. PIER ONE IMPORTS

This April, a string of existential self-pondering tweets appeared on the official Twitter account of Pier 1 Imports. Clearly the result of a freshly awakened mind, @pier1 tweeted:

After some silent meditation, @pier1 followed up:

Luckily, as is the case with human perception, it wasn’t all negative. Days later, the account tweeted:

5. KATY PERRY

American pop star Katy Perry, formerly known as @Pepsi, is one of the most well-known examples of a corporate Twitter account gaining the appearance of human emotions and feelings.

In 2009, @Pepsi made waves when it underwent major cosmetic surgery to obtain human breasts and facial features. Its already booming music career hit new heights and “Katy Perry” was born.

Perry has gone on to achieve massive fame and success. However, staying true to her roots, she still has a team of middle-aged ad men writing everything she says.

I’m nearly 23-and-a-half years old, so naturally I’ve been thinking a lot about my legacy. What will I be remembered for? What kind of mark am I going to leave on this Earth when my body is buried in it? This led me to think about my parents, and what they had accomplished by the time they were my age.

Before my dad’s 23rd birthday, he had already completed two tours of duty in Vietnam, earning a Silver Star medal for his service. After returning home, he managed to get a job as a schoolteacher, quickly becoming one of the most beloved teachers at Glennbrook Elementary.

When my mom was 23, she fought in the famous Ford Sewing Machinists Strike, which resulted in the Equal Pay Act of 1970, a major piece of legislation for women’s wages. Later that same year, she left her home country of England to start her own sewing business in America - a business that, although small, thrives to this very day.

Thinking about this really gives me perspective, because none of it is even true at all. I made it all up. My dad never fought in a war, and died a mostly penniless limo driver. My mom is a recovering alcoholic who has spent most of her adult life unemployed.

So I’ve determined that the best thing I can do for my legacy is have children who are willing to significantly inflate and/or outright lie about my accomplishments.

Either that or do something truly great in my lifetime which, frankly, seems like a lot of work.